#and then you all will see!!! the importance of his arc!!!!

[g4rvez-r3id]

We Only See Each Other At Weddings & Funerals

Ex!Spencer Reid x Lamontagne!Fem!Reader

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 18x03 CRIMINAL MINDS: EVOLUTION ‼️ you have been warned!!

Summary: When your brother dies suddenly, your ex shows up to support you at his funeral. And you’re left wondering maybe if you two are worth trying again.

Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: oh where to begin- ‼️ MAJOR SPOILERS FROM SEASON 18 OF CRIMINAL MINDS: EVOLUTION ‼️ established exes, death and grief and crying, reader being a tough gorl, mentions of the prison arc, mentions of miscarriage, mentions of divorce, minor mentions of S13 and S15, lack of communication, reader left spencer a note when she left, lowkey mommy issues, angst angst angst, sadness, reader breaks down, spencer and reader have a talk, spencer and reader are also still in love with each other, kind of an open ending

Author’s Note: hey lovelies! consider this my comeback of sorts- i was inspired after last week’s episode 🤭 and this just came to be! shoutout to @thegloryofliterature emme, my wifey— for helping me with the idea AND the title hehe and thank you to @cerisereids belle, for proofreading this for me, don’t know where i’d be without you, love! 😘 anyways, pls enjoy this (or not because it is angst— also angst written by me is always tugging at the heartstrings so SORRY) i love you all <33

Never ever did you think this day would happen so fast. You’d hoped that maybe it’d be in the far, far future. Where you were old and grey and that it’d be in his sleep. And hopefully, you’d be right behind him in that bracket— maybe within a few years. But never ever did you think that you’d be here for your own brother’s funeral.

Will was still so young, still needed to be there to raise his boys, to spend so many more years happy with his wife and his family. He was your older brother by a few years and getting that phone call nearly destroyed you when you got it.

You don’t even remember where you were, just that you answered JJ’s call and she’d told you right then and there. You almost didn’t believe her, but JJ would never ever lie about something like that. Especially regarding your brother. You’d almost passed out hearing the news, remembering how JJ once told you that she’d frozen when she saw her sister’s body in the bathroom. You felt as if you reacted very much the same way.

It was a rare thyroid aneurysm— he’d collapsed in the kitchen at home and died shortly afterwards. You’d known about his health issues, but you knew that he was in the clear. He was seeing an oncologist, he was doing the checkups. He was being careful.

And today was the day of the funeral— you’d tried your best to hold it together, for JJ and the boys. They really needed someone right now and your mother certainly wasn’t helping. Since finding out that Will had health issues and being angry at you and JJ for letting Will keep it from her— she was making things more complicated than they needed to be.

You honestly had more things to worry about than her— like your brother’s funeral, for starters. You had no time for her shenanigans and childish antics, you’d much rather focus on the boys and JJ.

It’s times like these where you wished Spencer was here. He was your ex-husband of eight years. You’d met him at JJ and Will’s wedding all those years ago and well, you two just hit it off. You understood his hours, you understood how his job was important and work always came first. And you understood, deciding your career was just as important as his— you’d followed your brother’s footsteps, as well as your late father’s.

Eventually, you two got married and you moved in with him and you guys were happy.

But then prison happened. He was arrested for a crime he didn’t commit. But he’d spent a long and painful three months and it nearly destroyed him. You were there every step of the way. Even after when he got back and went through those night terrors and staying up all hours of the night with him.

But luckily, you’d had good news for him to look forward to when he got back from there. You were pregnant— nearly four months along. You’d held on for so long for him, giving your all and trying to keep him satisfied but no matter how much he said he was happy with the outcome, you could tell in his eyes he was scared.

Your rough patch continued, but you both faked your ways through it. You would do anything to keep him here with you, to be happy with you. And eventually, you guys would be how you were before, right?

If only you didn’t have the miscarriage.

You were utterly devastated. How could you miss someone you never met? Just two days prior of the miscarriage, Spencer was beginning to come out of his shell, talking to the baby for hours that day.

And somehow, when you lost the baby— it made him so close yet so far from you. You were in bed for weeks afterward. And he left you alone for the most part, afraid to hurt you even more than he had already— from his perspective.

You kept trying after that, surprisingly— but his job was another thing getting in the way of your marriage. He was reinstated after the whole situation with the prison and was supposed to take 30 days off after every case and you had been happy to spend more time with him when you had found out but Spencer seemed to be less than thrilled at the news.

You were tired of the same patterns over and over. And then, he was kidnapped by a cult. And that seemed to have been your final straw. You’d gotten into a big argument with him, completely frustrated at the fact that you had found out hours after the fact and that no one had told you a single thing. But Spencer was confused. Why were you making such a big deal about this?

Years ago, you’d talked about this. Communication was key in your relationship and you recognized there was a lack of that as of that moment. And it was then, it seemed like you were looking in the eyes of a total stranger.

You’d gone to bed angry that night and when Spencer woke up that next morning, he woke up to a cold bed, the closet nearly empty and a note on the marble counter.

I’m sorry.

You’d left him the way his father had. The way Gideon had. And he blamed himself for that. This one was on him.

He tried reaching out to you after that. But your phone number had been completely been out of service. Spencer later found out that you had crashed at JJ and Will’s for a few weeks before moving back to New Orleans.

Since then, you and Spencer had not talked. Or seen each other in years. Of course, you’d sent him divorce papers and you’d both signed them, finalizing it and leaving it as it was.

You’d moved on, going back to your old job as a detective at the police station in New Orleans, had a few casual hookups every now and then— but no one ever compared to Spencer. You’d actually loved Spencer. You thought about calling him every now and then, coming close to doing so one Christmas before stopping yourself. He was your person, through and through.

You’d called your brother once in a while, hoping for some scrap of news about Spencer since he and JJ were best friends. But nothing ever came up. Until one day, you’d finally asked.

And that was the day you found out about Max.

His new girlfriend— someone he’d been seeing for just a few weeks. And now you wished you hadn’t asked. He moved on.

And why were you sad about it? This was what you wanted, right? How could he be open to another woman after you? After how he treated you? You’d hoped he licked his wounds clean and you hoped he was happy finally but you wish he’d done it for you. Why couldn’t he do it for you? His wife of eight years? You didn’t ask about him again after that.

Eventually, you missed the city and moved back to DC when your lease ran out. You’d gotten a small studio apartment, keeping to yourself like a creature of habit, not wanting anyone except for close family to know you were back home here.

It was easier, especially knowing Spencer wasn’t working at the BAU as much anymore. So he wasn’t around too much. JJ had mentioned a sabbatical he was taking. A tiny part of you wondered why. What he was doing. But you kept that to yourself.

You’d mostly spent your days off, spending time with your nephews and your brother while JJ was off being a badass. And you were closer to them than ever.

Which was why it was so hard when Will passed. It was sudden. You didn’t prepare for this. It was your father all over again when he died in Hurricane Katrina. As if that wasn’t hard on you already, you had to lose your brother, too.

And as much as your heart ached and how scared and angry you were, you had to keep it together. You couldn’t afford to break down, not here and certainly not now.

You were exposed to the empathy and pity on everyone’s faces, something you were getting used to in these last few days— as much as you hated it. Penelope was probably more of a wreck than you, Emily became a mother figure of sorts— more than your own mother was, at least. Dave was always there if you needed to talk, everyone supported your family in every way. Just not the one that mattered the most to you.

Last you heard, Emily had told him about your brother. And he’d sent flowers. But that was it.

Eventually, Tara had come into the church, telling you your mother was still refusing to come inside and that you were the only person who hadn’t tried to get her to come in and to give it a try. With a deep sigh, you prepared for your mother’s antics and hoped she wouldn’t make a big fuss over this but it was your mother. You knew her better than anyone. And right now, she was your only person in your family still alive.

You walked outside, walking towards her as she remained seated on the bench she parked herself at, chin held high and that smug look on her face. You always hated that look. You crossed your arms as you approached her and stopped in your tracks, looking at her and it was funny, because she was barely looking at you.

“They told me you were still out here,” You spoke, the breeze flowing through— the silence of the wind more louder than the silence with your mother. You were tired of this, fighting with her like you had your whole life. You just wanted this day to be over already and with her acting the way she did, wasn’t any help. Rolling your eyes and poking your tongue into the inside of your mouth, you sigh— “Mama, I don’t wanna fight with you today, will you just come into the church?”

Connie silently shook her head and honestly, you were getting fed up. “Mama, you are not the only person that lost somebody today. It hurts and I know it does but you not going in there, dishonors Will’s memory and you’re just being childish. Like you always are.”

“Now, you’re starting to sound like JJ there.” Connie finally speaks. “You have no idea what I am going through. You have no idea how hard this is. To lose your child.” Oh, you knew just as well as she did what it was like to lose a child. You never told your mother about your miscarriage. The only person you did tell was JJ, since she’d gone through the same thing and she was the only person that understood.

You bit your tongue, wanting to tell your mother how wrong she was for this, how childish she was being. But you didn’t want to yell outside of a church and you didn’t want anyone to hear so instead, you shook your head. “Well, when you’re ready to get your head out of your ass, you will come in there and be there for your son. Because you know just as well as anybody that Will would want you there. So, come in, don’t come in— I could give less of a shit.” You wave a hand dismissively at her, walking away before she can even get a word in.

Walking back towards the church, you’re at the entrance and you take a moment to get yourself together when you feel eyes on you. You’re not sure what compels you to turn around but you do anyways. And you’re not sure if maybe your eyes are deceiving you or maybe you’re having some kind of psychotic break due to the death of your brother. That would be a better explanation than seeing Spencer Reid standing right there.

For a moment, you wipe your eyes and blink because maybe there is a possibility you are seeing things. After a few blinks, nope — he’s real. And he’s just as shocked to see you standing right there. Maybe not shocked, I mean, Will was your brother. Or maybe a little stunned, seeing you right here. And so soon, before he can even enter the church.

You both stand and stare at each other in disbelief. Your heart is beating out of your chest, dropped down to your stomach, you’re frightened— like a child on the first day of school. Of all days, for him to show up. You felt like you were dreaming. You had to have been, right? This was all just one big dream or nightmare you were living in. It had to have been, right?

And suddenly, he’s walking closer to you and it feels less of a dream now. He still looks the same as he once did in the past. You felt like you’ve aged five years in five days— meanwhile, he still looks the same as he did when he turned thirty. He still wears that same dopey purple scarf, that’s been torn and gotten smaller and thinner since the last twenty years he’s used it. His hair is still crazy and you wonder if he has mismatched socks underneath the suit he’s currently wearing. (The answer will always be yes).

Your heart pounds in your chest, thumping so loudly, you can hear it. Because he’s here— he’s standing in front of you. So far, no words are exchanged between the pair of you. You stare at him, eyes grazing every inch of him. He’s taller than you remember. He’s built more… adult-like, funny enough. Even in his fourties’, he still walks like a tall child.

Your mind floods of memories of when you two were together. Your firsts — first kiss, first date, first time together— then your lasts. Last kiss, last time you spoke, the last time you shared the same bed. Guilt still riddles at you with the fact that you left him in the form of a note. The way his father once had, he was so hurt about it when he once told you. And then for you to do the same? You’d hate yourself if you were him. You wouldn’t hold it against him if he had bad blood with you.

You open your mouth finally— “A-Am I… Am I dreaming?” It’s silly, the way that that’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth seeing him. You wondered what your first words would be to each other if you were to see each other again. Would he tell you to fuck off? Would he ignore you and walk in the other direction?

Who were you kidding? Spencer had enough class to not do this the day of your brother’s funeral. The person you were the closest to besides him for a long, long time.

“No, you’re not.” Spencer tells you softly and you stare at him, vision blurring but you try and hide it from him. He was the only person you felt the most vulnerable with. And now, he was here— on one of the worst days of your life.

You brought him inside of the church, met with JJ, Michael and Henry as JJ was helping with Michael’s suit. Henry was the first to see his godfather, nudging his head along as he told his mom— “Told you he’d come.”

JJ looks at her son, not bothering to look in your direction as she asks— “Who?” Henry nudged his head again and this time, JJ turned and was met with Spencer — standing next to you. She was just as flabbergasted as you, eyes blinking like you’d done, too.

“Spence…” Spencer moved forward as he went to give JJ a heartwarming hug. “You came.” You walk towards them as Michael and Henry say their hellos to their godfather and you stand behind as they hug in a group. You find yourself, pulling back from tearing up once more.

Eventually, Spencer excuses himself to go and find his seat in one of the aisles. JJ keeps a close eye on you— knowing it was most likely hard for you to see him again. But you kept a brave face, she gave you the credit for that.

You walked arm in arm with her down that aisle— Henry on your side and Michael on hers. You continued to keep your brave face on. As much as you were dying inside.

You sat in front of the BAU team— Dave, Emily, Penelope and newly joined Spencer beside Penelope— Spencer sitting directly right behind you. You felt his stares the whole time as everyone shared their stories and moments celebrating Will. You couldn’t even focus as Penelope shared her story of how Will asked her to let him help her move into her apartment— that was how your brother was. Sweet as he was.

Soon enough, it was your turn. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you held your paper of what you wanted to say in your hands. You take a deep breath as you stand up at the pew— looking down at your brother’s casket before looking up towards your audience. You almost wished your mother was here. But you knew better.

Looking down at your paper, you clear your throat— praying your voice wouldn’t sound as hoarse as it has been the last few days due to crying. You look down at your paper and examine your writing. Did you even mean any of these words? Were these even your words? You take a sharp breath before deciding to fold up the paper and look towards everyone.

“I remember when Will and I were little,” You start to go off-script. You had no idea where you were going with this, but it certainly had to be better than what you wrote down. “Uh, we used to live near a park. He and I would go on the swings and he’d push me and I’d push him. And one day, I fell off the swings, as I would— and I scraped my knee pretty bad. And Will, being the caring older brother he was— helped patch up my knee and even kissed it better. I think that describes the type of person he was.”

You look down at your hands before shaking your head. “I am just… so… angry.” You turn to his casket as you continue to keep holding on for the sake of everyone watching you. Spencer stares up towards you. You look so different now, you were the same but you were so different at the same time. Your exterior was guarded, more so than before he even started dating you.

Part of him wondered if maybe he should’ve even shown up today. He debated it over and over in his head. He didn’t want to stress you even more out than how you were before. You just lost your brother, and he had lost you a long time ago. He didn’t want to tear up old wounds. But the other part of him knew he had to be there. For JJ. For the boys. And for you. No matter what happened in the past, no matter what you gone through— he still loved and cared for you deeply. And he’d always be there, no matter what.

“Will, you were the best brother I could ever have. I knew one day I’d outlive you but I didn’t think it’d be this soon. It shouldn’t have been this soon.” You blink a few tears away. It really shouldn’t have been this soon. “You still have boys to take care of. You still have me to take care of. How could you leave like this? You were supposed to still be here.” Your voice catches in your throat and you feel a presence behind you. “I hate you.” You shut your eyes. “But I love you… and I hope that… wherever you are… you’re not hurtin’ anymore.”

Finally, you turn but you don’t see the person you thought it would be. That person being Spencer. But instead, your mother— who has finally decided to come in here and be the parent you wanted her to be all along during this whole thing. She holds your hand, assuring to you that you are not alone in this. That she is here. And that the moral of the story is that you’ve both lost someone that was important in both of your lives.

During JJ’s speech, the eyes linger on you. His eyes. You were still keeping it together, what was that? Spencer had known you to be a very emotional person— in all the years that he’s known you, you were. Maybe after your breakup, you’d had no tears left to cry.

He kept his distance as you walked out into the cemetery, arm in arm with your mother— as they laid Will’s body to rest. Even then, you still had dry eyes.

You stayed there.

Even when your mother left.

Even after your nephews did.

Hell, even after Spencer walked JJ back to the car, you were still there. And he wondered if you were ever going to move.

Then, there was a moment where you thought you were alone. You stood in front of the grave, numb to all of the events from the last few days. This didn’t feel the same as losing your dad when he did in Hurricane Katrina. This didn’t feel the same as when your pet hamster, Wubzy, died when you were eight. This death… was the hardest one you were ever going to face in your life, it seemed. No, nothing compared to this.

Although it very much felt like you were alone, you weren’t. Not really.

“I thought you left.” You spoke out loud.

You waited for silence. He couldn’t have been waiting there, behind you.

“I didn’t.”

Spencer’s voice echoed through the breeze and you stood still as you felt him gaining closer behind you. And when you finally turned around, he was at least six inches away from you. You looked up at him and took a small sigh.

“Will’s dead.” You stated, like you were coming to terms with it. You tried to take a breath again. You didn’t want Spencer to see you break. But you’d remembered something. He was the one person who saw you break over and over again. He was always there. So, when you looked him in the eyes… truly and completely crushed at the fact that your brother was gone— you broke down.

The barrier between pain and suffering had finally broken you down. And all because of Spencer Reid. He’d wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly like he remembered you liked when you were upset. You’d always felt safe in his arms. You told him that the first time he held you. You sobbed into the lapels of his suit, bawling like no one was watching. And he let you. Like he knew you needed.

Spencer worried the emotional you was gone. But no, you were just being strong for everyone. Like you always had been. You’ve hardened since the last he saw you. But he always knew you put other people above yourself. And sometimes, you forgot— you were only human, too.

And then, he’d stayed with you. The whole time. You’d found a bench nearby and he was your shoulder to cry on. You stayed like that for a while. You had the reception to go to after this, but… they could wait. Right now, they could. You needed this moment to yourself. And frankly, Spencer thought so, too.

He rubbed your back, stayed silent until you were ready to talk. Listened while you tried to talk through your tears. Eventually, you calmed down. And using his shoulder didn’t seem appropriate anymore once you gained the knowledge that you were doing it in the first place.

So, after that, you just sat there in silence— and that was better than anything else. He didn’t say a word, you didn’t either. But you knew you had to say something. I mean, you were married to the guy for five years. You at least owed him some kind of explanation. You hadn’t talked to him in years.

“You didn’t have to… be here, you know.” You tell him, in all honesty. And you didn’t just mean the funeral, you also meant here and now. You didn’t deserve his kindness after everything you did. Completely going AWOL in your marriage, without another word.

Spencer opens his mouth and nods, “I know.” He stated. “But I wanted to be here. For you guys.”

“Then you should be with JJ,” You stood. “She and the boys need you more than I do. And they deserve it more than I do.” Spencer knew what you were talking about the way you left.

When he found that note on the kitchen table the day you left, of course, for some time— he was hurt. He was angry, how could you leave like that without another word? But after time (and therapy) — he understood why you left. Why you couldn’t bring yourself to do face to face. He wasn’t exactly the easiest person to be around at the time. Hell, he would’ve left himself, too after how he treated things with you. How lost he was, how scared he was and how often he took it out on you. You deserved better than that and at the time, he wasn’t it.

Spencer stood behind you, walking towards you, grabbing your hand and making you turn towards him. Eyes locked on one another and never leaving each other’s gazes. “I was never mad at you for leaving.” He admitted. Sure, at one point he was — but what was the point in holding grudges anymore?

You shook your head as the tears brimmed in your eyes again. “I would be,” You said. “I would be mad at me.”

Spencer’s hand moves from yours to the apple of your cheeks. He didn’t regret you. Not for a damn minute. And standing here, right in front of you— opened his eyes once more. He still loved you and he was sorry. Things didn’t work out the first time and maybe they’d never work again but he loved you. He knew that much.

Of course, he didn’t want you to know that. Not today, not this week— certainly not anytime soon until you were ready to hear him. But standing here… with you— brought back everything he washed away instead of dealing with it. He dealt with it by leaving his feelings alone. And now, all of a sudden— everything he knew brought him back to you. Could you have been the missing variable in his life again?

“Y/n,” Spencer looked you in the eyes. “I was going through something I couldn’t wrap my head around at the time. And you were on the receiving end of most of that. I dealt with things… but so did you. Me going to prison, the miscarriage.” You pause at this. It’d been a long time since you thought about the miscarriage. How things fell apart after that. “I wasn’t easy to deal with. I know.”

“I still left.” You argue. You didn’t deserve him treating you with kid gloves— too bad he didn’t agree. “It doesn’t matter now.” Spencer told.

You sniffle, looking up at him— remembering him as he once was. The person you counted on, the person you were married to and wanted a family with. The person you loved— possibly forever.

“I don’t deserve you,” You admit, staring into his eyes. “I don’t think I ever did.”

Spencer tucks a strand of loose hair behind your ear. “You deserve every good thing in the world.” He tells. And he truly means it. He doesn’t want to open up those cans of worms so he seals the lid shut by wrapping his arm over yours so you can hold his arm. He always liked when you clinged to him in the past. And he was probably selfish to say that he still liked it now.

Spencer walked with you, your head resting on his shoulder as you made your way out of the cemetery, saying goodbye to your brother as well as saying goodbye to the pain, shame and guilt you’d had for years before finally talking to Spencer. Well, he mostly talked— you denied receiving anything from him because you felt as if you didn’t deserve it.

One day, maybe you’ll understand why he chose to forgive you. Maybe it was because of the day. Maybe one day, in the long run, he’d blame you. But for now, you could settle for being content— being in a good place with him. Like you yearned for over the years. You missed that. You missed him. And you missed how you two were.

And maybe one day, you’ll find your footing with him again. Maybe you two will get it right this time.

And if not? Well, you would just have to wait and see. And you were fine with waiting.

[curtis-brothers-hug]

Look. Darry hitting Ponyboy is obviously, unequivocally wrong, and we shouldn’t make excuses for it or justify it.

But outbursts of aggression or violence can be a symptom of trauma and PTSD. And we really need to stop completely leaving that out of the debates of “is Darry a good or bad guardian/person?”

Something many in the fandom forget, despite it being a central aspect of Darry’s character, despite it being a central aspect of Pony’s character arc, despite Pony reminding us explicitly and repeatedly in his narration - is that Darry’s behaviour when we see him in canon is out of character.

Ponyboy could not be more clear about this. “Me and Darry got along before mom and dad died.” “Nobody in our family ever hit me before. Nobody.” The palpable shock of all three brothers, including Darry himself, after Darry hit Pony.

One of the main reasons why Pony finds Darry’s behaviour so distressing is because it’s new. It’s different. It’s unexpected. It came seemingly out of nowhere. He’s not used to it and it’s caught him horribly off guard. It’s yet another cataclysmic change that Pony’s had to deal with as an unexpected byproduct of his parents’ deaths. He hasn’t had a lifetime to inoculate himself against Darry yelling at him or hitting him, like Johnny or Dally or Steve with their parents. If Darry was an abusive person, Pony would be used to these behaviors. He might say something like, “Darry was always like this but now mom and dad aren’t here to protect me.” But no. Darry yelling at Pony all the time is out of character. Darry hitting Pony is out of character. Again, it doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it does raise alarm bells and give us some very important clues.

You have some acting violently in a way that is recent, sudden, and out of character. That’s the profile of someone who is suffering from trauma.

All three brothers suffered their parents’ deaths, but it’s safe to assume Darry was the one who had to identify their mangled bodies. Darry was the one who had to prepare those bodies for burial. Do you think Darry doesn’t see that image when he closes his eyes? Do you think he let Soda and Pony see that? If Pony had seen his parents’ dead bodies, he would have mentioned it. The whole point of the story is that even after his parents’ death, Pony doesn’t see the full extent of death and violence and dead bodies with his own eyes. Because Darry took care of it for him.

Darry is not only acting out of character during canon, but he’s most likely also acting on impulses that he can’t fully control and hasn’t been given the tools to do so. Mental health and trauma therapy were not really a thing in the 1960s, and even if the Curtis’ lived in the modern era, they still wouldn’t have the money and resources to access that help. Maybe a modern Darry Curtis could self diagnose through Google searches, if he ever found time, but that’s about it.

Not to mention the societal and material circumstances at play. You can’t insist that the story is about class and socioeconomics - which it is - but make Darry the sole exception, and act like his wrongdoings alone exist in a vacuum.

The whole point of Darry hitting Pony is that it’s the culmination of events, a breaking point, that is a direct result of their class and their poverty. Darry would never have hit Pony if he wasn’t at the end of his rope, not just due to their parents’ death, but all the socioeconomic conditions resulting from it.

Darry hit his breaking point when Pony came home late, not because he was mad that Pony broke his tyrannical rule, but because Pony breaking curfew could have disastrous, life altering consequences. He was worried sick not knowing where Pony was, but he couldn’t do anything about that, because if he called the police, Pony and Soda would be taken away and tossed in the system. Because Darry’s custody is constantly under threat, because they’re low class and poor. And he’s already running on fumes from the financial ruin and precarious custody that he’s had to deal with every minute of every day since their parents died. If soc kids lost their parents it would still be a tragedy and a trauma, but money and custody and college and future would not be a concern. They’d just access their trust funds and be adopted by any number of other wealthy relatives or family friends.

If anything, I think it’s damn impressive that Darry improves his behaviour toward Ponyboy as much as he does, considering he has no more resources or support system by the end than he does at the beginning. His efforts to be more gentle and patient and communicative are sheer willpower. In essence, he’s trying to override his triggers while still living in survival mode, and he manages to make progress. That’s hard enough for people who know those terms and have that vocabulary, let alone someone who very much does not.

So is Darry’s treatment of Pony wrong? Of course. Is he inherently a bad person? The narrative is very clear that he is not, that his negative behavior is an anomaly. Is there a hell of a lot of context to Darry’s mistakes that should be taken into account? Yes. Is said context literally the whole point of the story? Also yes. Would you do any better in his position - his exact position, including his age and living in his time period? Sorry, no. If you are an adult in 2025 who can’t bother to understand Darry, there is no way you would have done a better job of understanding Ponyboy or caring for Ponyboy if you were Darry in 1965. If you write off Darry as just an abuser, just an inherently bad person, I guarantee that if you lived in the 1960s, you’re the one who would think Ponyboy was just an ungrateful brat who needs a good smack to whip him into shape.

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

WOOHOO 🎉 I'm finally free from finals, and we got the latest episode on 4/Luke's birthday!! I gotta tell yall, I can't believe we manifested it [X] hours before it was released lmao

now I don't expect it to be one to one, it's a silly birthday for a silly guy ^^ if we're gonna have shenanigans, it's gotta be here

(the following is my live reaction:)

not even 5 seconds in and YOOOO 4'S WORKING WHILE STAYING IN 3'S CAFE, WE DID IT!!

so many of us were like "it would be nice to see 4 editing videos while enjoying coffee in 3's cafe". Hell, even I wrote it in one of my concepts!

we can now say it's canon YESSIR 👏👏

hmm, spinning Beeg4 *jotting down theorist notes* interesante....

oh hey Meggy ^^

*pauses video*

nahnahnah, so you're telling me that 4's response to getting jumpscared is to glitch out? and eerily close to the glitch colors of his logo? *grabs you* if THIS doesn't convince you goop!4 is real, I don't know what does

okok, first off: aw Beeg is hanging out with his Dad and reminded him of his birthday 🥹💙

Second, Meggy's trying to find a coaching gig, huh? Alright, huddle around, guys, I've got an idea: what if Meggy goes on and coaches Karen's kids with the new abilities? After all, next to Karen, Meggy's got the experience, and the kids do need a good teacher/positive reinforcement. And while we're at it, we can give Karen a secured job at 3's cafe and she can keep an eye on them training in the Showgrounds! It's a win-win here ^^

And now third, the utmost important part, this is MAR10 all over again. "huh?" right, you guys are gonna have to follow my train of thought here: this scene right here, Meggy noticed how serious 4 is being right now, as he's editing a silly video. And sure, it could be that Meggy is trying to find anything she could to apply her coaching skills on, but it could've been "oh 4, you've been behind the screen all day, let's do some stretches" or something. No, instead she pointed out his emotions and wanted to promote a healthy, positive mindset, work-life balance. Practically, therapy. Yet, look at 4's face when Meggy wanted him to "turn that frown upside down". He looks unsure. Almost uncomfortable with the idea. ofc Beeg4 comes in and reminds them that the next day is 4's birthday.

Now, 4's attitude toward the coaching changed, and it makes sense why. For one, it doesn't seem like he don't got any plans for his birthday, considering the way he reacted at the reminder. And two, it seems like he's more willing to do it bc Meggy seemed passionate about the idea. Time and time again, 4 is willing to do anything for his friends, whether or not he's ok. He did it while he was injured, he did it when he was spiraling out of control with the manga. All while saying "everything will be fine". Here, 4's willing to go along for the ride, for Meggy. To get it over with, and I guarantee you that 4 would say he's fine. Which in itself is concerning. HOWEVER, this was pushed aside bc Meggy wanted to know how 4 was gonna celebrate his birthday. Now, doesn't that seem familiar to you? The IGBP arc up to MAR10. When 4 was set on making the perfect video, completely serious about the project, and while his friends did notice his behavior, they didn't know how much it was truly affecting 4 mentally/emotionally. And even more bc MAR10 (a day of celebration dedicated to one person) was coming up, causing the problem to be even bigger than before.

So, Team: what's up with that? *blinks curiously* just wondering

anyway uh. We gotta move on. It hasn't even been a minute and we're still here with my rambling

4: "I'm just gonna do the same thing I always do." Right, which is..... oh you're not gonna say it?

NOT MEGGY THINKING HE'S GONNA BE ALONE WITH A CAKE

I'm sure it's not the case. Maybe he gets a quiet/enjoyable day for himself, treat himself with something nice for dinner. Play some games. You never know. Also, from one adult to another, relatable.

At least we know why we haven't gotten a 4 birthday episode before (and I say 4's bc we had one with Melony).

AW look at Beeg with the lil cup, that's so adorable tho

OMG OMG, THEY PULLED A PHOENIX WRIGHT

MY MEGGY ACE ATTORNEY AU IS FINALLY COMING TRUE YESSS!! See? This is why I had 4 take Phoenix's role here, they have so many parallels (I mean, mootie, you would know)

everyone's just chilling in game room hehe

"isn't 3 supposed to be in the cafe?" he's on his break, dw about it 😌

Mario: "He has Mario's friendship!" look, see? maybe 4 and Mario were gonna hang out for the day together, just like old times :) Besides, y'know the two of them value each other's friendship more than anything. Mario isn't wrong to say his gift for 4 is friendship

omg WE CALLED IT!! I DID. They are gonna plan a surprise party for himmmm

3 is so disappointed that he got paired up with Boopkins pfft hahaha

erm. Meggy. honey, please don't. Just order a cake instead

*wince* I wouldn't trust Bob with it either, oh boy. There's the SMG4 shenanigans we know :)

Love how 3 wasn't so into it like the rest of them. But he did join in the fistbump tho

PFFT 3 did not just say that omg....

let's see what you got, 3

*looks at boarded-up door* ah yes. my nemesis......

strange that they keep showing that, huh *looks at Team*

AY that's pretty good!!

oop- no? well okay then, 3. You arranged 4's room so, I trust you with this

So, we got our distraction team, eh?

Tari's so real about surprise parties. They are nice but I rather you tell me, especially when I got plans already

don't be suspicious 👏 don't be suspicious 👏 don't be suspicious 👏 don't be suspicious 👏 /ref

the cutaways are CRAZY, they're so funny to me I don't know why lol

I do like how 4's trying to be patient with them, even if they're acting weird in his eyes

what can I say? Mario learned from the best :) and involving a PC too, woah

The right idea, Meggy, for snacks (and some decor). But girl, that's not for cake

Aw, it really is a nice sentiment, Meggy. But there's nothing wrong with a store-bought cake! The fact that you got him cake at all, I'm sure it would mean a lot to 4

THE GUILLOTINE?!

the transition from Boopkin's frown to 4's is absolutely PERFECT. since y'know. brothers irl

He did the thing (facepalm)!! (no I'm totally not freaking out about it being on his left eye, what noooo)

wait, wait...

two Mario :D (honestly, this is a funny animation error haha)

Mario, no! you're not forklift certified!! /ref

4. buddy. let' calm down for a second here.

....huh? pink?!

*pauses video*

nope, that's it. I'm done. It's over, I need to leave the room. Give me a second... *screaming in the distance*

[30 minutes later] chat... I'm not. I'm not imagining things, right? That this isn't some kind of shared delusion, right?? This. It can't be real, are you kidding meeeee

We got 4 going insane again, wanting to finish his video. He's glowing magenta and his right eye is only shown.... Now, I know what you might be thinking: Magenta? that's crazy. But the right eye? Didn't you say that his left was absolutely important to note in the goop!4 theory? Isn't the right one supposed to represent his true silly side? Well, there's a simple explanation: yes, he is doing everything he can to meet deadlines and finish his video (his perfectionism), but he's not doing it to prove his self-worth. He just wanted to finish the silly project he had (his true self) since really, that was what his plans were for his birthday. He didn't know about the party. Plus, he did extend out his left hand for Tari to hand over the laptop

But yeah, he isn't mad about Tari and Mario withholding a PC from him, he's just confused about what the hell is going on with these two

SCREW what I said about earlier! If THIS SCENE right here didn't convince you that goop!4 is real, then I really don't know what else does. So anyway, welcome aboard, have a free t-shirt ^^

OOP more evidence to the 3 speech color theory, light blue this time talking about another change of decor hmmm

KAREN HI!! how's it going since y'know.

And her kids too!!

Welp, time to panic :D

URETHRA!!💡 /ref

*shoves paper off desk* ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME?!

IT WAS RIGHT 👏 THERE 👏. THEY'RE DESTROYING EVERYTHING AND DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH THE ROOM WE'RE MOST INTERESTED IN!! WHAT'S BEHIND THAT FUCKIN DOOR

*head in hands* we were so close, dude. now the Team's just playing with me smh /silly

me @ the door: we shall meet again, my nemesis.....

oven temperature: "who made these settings?" honestly, good question 🤔

oh Bob, he's trying to hard to make the decor :(

the Castle falling apart is pretty close to the fanart I'm making ngl. I gotta save this as a reference

see? 4 is just so confused, man

ough 🥺 they really did try

also 3 wasn't wrong about the demolishing part. 4 is a pretty simple guy, no need to go all out. also considering how his room was before 3 decorated, yeah it makes sense

3 did know what would 4 would like, yessir 😌↕️

THE BALL PIT?! not dashcon bro

no, guys, don't be sad. Knowing 4, I'm sure he's actually moved that yall went through the effort to do this for him

I TOLD YOU, SEE?

look at him 🥹😭💙 he's so happy that his friends could give him the best birthday everrrr, this truly means so much for a simple guy like him

Happy Birthday, Four!! 🎉🎂⭐️

and they entered into a coma *wheeze* well that'sas close as we're gonna get with coma 4 hehe

Congrats to LolWhatAYDH for your fanart getting featured in the end credits!! 🎉 See? Told yall sunflowers totally suit 4

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

I absolutely loved this episode, it had everything I could ever ask for!! The love behind friendship, the callbacks, the theories, the silliness and chaos. Even some character cameos in the background! This is the best way the Team can go about it to celebrate the meme lord himself. ofc 4 but also Luke's birthday too!!

Obviously we gotta celebrate to the fullest. Everyone, get your fanart, the fics, anything to celebrate this wonderful day. This show truly means so much to me and I know at least some of you feel the same. For many years of my Saturday morning cartoon (tm), thank you Luke for the memories. And to 4, for being the silly meme guardian we all know and love

But ofc, the Team: thank you for the amazing episode and the hard work put into it. The funny gags/bits you had in here never failed to make me laugh! I gotta say tho, I know for sure you guys are scheming with these IGBP references. Even Ben's like:

(not that Ben was fully involved with the episode but anyway) We'll see if any of the Team's willing to show some behind-the-scenes stuff but in the meantime, I do hope they had fun making this episode!!

And I'm gonna take a wild guess and say yall were waiting for my reaction, huh chat? Haha, well I am the "local crazy theorist who constantly screams about goop!4", I'll take that title with pride :) Trust me, I was so well fed with this episode, I got a whole bunch of evidence I gotta get through. Now, I don't suspect that we're getting IGBP 2 soon, no. Let the Team cook. But at this point, we should establish for a fact that it's gonna happen. It's only a question of "when". That's all from me for this review. But dw, we're definitely going to party all day today. Otherwise, I'll see you next time and remember: numbers always go first!!

once again...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, 4 & LUKE!!!

⭐️🎉🎂🎉⭐️

[valeisaslut]

Hello my perfect beautiful wife, queen of our suffering

Do you happen to have more background on Joel's relationship with Ellie's mom? 👀👀👀👀👀 I'm curious as fuck

ANDREA MY BELOVED ANGEL. LIGHT OF MY LIFE. KEEPER OF COLLIDE NATION SANITY (or maybe chaos idk). you are not going to believe this—but i actually have a very important conversation between ellie and joel that i had to cut from epilogue pt. 2. yes. deleted. vanished. lost to the tumblr text limit hell. it was so significant to their backstory—especially joel’s history with ellie’s mom—and i was sick to my stomach scrapping it. like actual physical pain. i fought for that scene but tumblr said “500 paragraphs about grief? yes. one more about joel? get fucked.”

i’ve been holding it close because it hurt to lose it from the post, but now that you’ve asked, i’m absolutely going to share it. i want the whole collide nation to see it tbh. because it’s one of those moments that doesn’t just explain things—it grounds ellie’s entire arc. and joel’s love. and how much of that love is actually rooted in loss.

They were sitting out on the porch, again. Two shadows cast by the porch light, two chairs angled toward the tree line, the night thick with the sound of crickets and wind. Ellie had one leg tucked under herself, shirt sleeves pulled over her hands. Joel sat the way he always had: spine straight, elbows on his knees, like his body had learned to hold weight even when it didn’t need to anymore.

She wasn’t smoking tonight. Just watching the stars.

It was quiet when she asked.

“What did she look like?”

Joel didn’t answer right away. He blinked slow, like the question had come from underwater.

“My mom,” Ellie clarified, glancing at him. “What did she look like?”

Joel’s jaw flexed. His hands curled a little tighter around his cup of lukewarm coffee. He stared out into the dark.

“She was beautiful,” he said at last. His voice was low, not sentimental, just honest. “In that careless, dangerous kinda way. Hair like wildfire. Eyes too sharp for her own good. Smiled like she already knew the joke. Always moved like she was halfway out the door.”

Ellie looked down at her knees. Something in her chest tightened.

“Was she… like me?”

Joel was quiet again. Then he shook his head.

“No,” he said. “You’ve got her eyes. Maybe her laugh when you’re really gone. But you—you’re steadier. Even in the middle of a storm, you’ve got a center she never had.”

Ellie swallowed.

“Why’d she leave?”

Joel took a long breath. His gaze drifted, as if the trees might answer for him.

“She was an addict,” he said. “Worse than most. Started with pills, then anything she could find. She tried, I think. For a while. But by the time you were two…”

He paused. Rubbed the back of his neck.

“She told me she couldn’t do it. Said you deserved better than a mom who could barely remember to eat. She handed you over and walked out the door. I never saw her again.”

Ellie was quiet. She let the words sit in her lap like a heavy coat. Then:

“Did you love her?”

Joel hesitated. “I don’t think I even knew what love was back then.”

They sat with that. Then Ellie asked the part that scared her more than any other.

“Did you want me?”

Joel looked at her like she’d just thrown something through a stained-glass window.

He set the coffee down and turned to her fully.

“Ellie,” he said, voice breaking just slightly, “I was in the worst place of my life when you came along. I was rich. Famous. Playing sold-out stadiums every night. And I was dying. Inside. Every day felt like I was being skinned alive under stage lights. The crowd screamed my name, and all I could think was how badly I wanted to disappear.”

She blinked at him, still as stone.

“I was using too,” Joel said. “Not like your mom. Not as wild. But enough. Enough that it made everything quiet. Enough that I was slipping under and didn’t even know it.”

He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, staring at his hands.

“Then she showed up at my door. Drunk. Crying. Holding this little girl with tangled hair and wide eyes. Said, ‘She’s yours. I can’t.’ And she left.”

Joel’s voice cracked then, and he didn’t bother to hide it.

“You didn’t cry. You just looked up at me like… like you already knew I was the only one left. And for the first time in my life, I felt like I mattered. Like maybe I was meant for something other than self-destruction.”

He wiped at his eyes.

“You saved my life, Ellie. Just by existing. Just by looking at me like I could be something better. I got clean for you. I learned how to live for you. I raised you the best way I knew how because you were the only thing that ever made me want to be a man worth raising someone.”

Ellie’s breath hitched.

“So yeah,” Joel said, voice steadying, “when I heard what happened… when they called me, told me you were falling apart—how the hell could I not try to save you? You saved me before you even knew what saving someone meant.”

Ellie didn’t speak. She just stared at him, eyes full, lower lip trembling.

“You never had a choice,” she said finally. “And still… you never left.”

Joel reached across the space between them and took her hand.

“You were the best thing that ever happened to me. And I’d do it again. A thousand times.”

Ellie looked away, blinking back tears, but she didn’t let go. 

She held his hand tight in hers, and finally understood everything. A deep wound inside of her finally stopped bleeding.

sorry for adding to the pain, but thank you for asking this ilysm 🤍

[demonslayedher]

Speaking of how you can hurt your audience more with timing, Kimetsu Theater has kicked off the theater showings with short "the making of" clips for the previous arc that was aired. Since this week was the first half of the Yuukaku arc, they took apart some Mugen Ressha scenes, which not only gives you a little glimpse at the production of complex CG battle scenes, all the layers of impactful stills, and cels of important expression, but it also provides a handy recap of what happened recently in the story.

And this time, well, when Rengoku is saying his final words to Tanjiro, and then seeing Ruka, and asking, "Did I fulfill...?" we get a whole dang flashback of him taking a final shot at Akaza's neck, then sitting at Shinjuro's bedside, then smiling to Senjuro, and a few other outstanding achievements that conclude with the close-up on little Kyojuro's eyes as his mother hugs him just as Ruka replies, "Yes, he did very well."

AH AH OW MY HEART IT IS BURNT AND CRUSHED TO PIECES IN A MOTHER'S LAST EMBRACE OF HER SON AND HIS HAVING COME FULL CIRCLE BACK TO THIS MOMENT

Thanks, Ufotable, this was the MOST sniffling I have ever heard in the theater and it was BEFORE the main event

[ecargmura]

The Apothecary Diaries Episode 35 Review - Summer Retreat

I can’t believe it took 35 episodes for the story to finally drop the name of this fictional world—it’s called Li. Maybe it’s because I’m an anime-only, but what was the purpose of Jinshi going to Loulan’s father’s estate but he had to be disguised? Can anyone explain it to me? Was he there as some sort of ambassador? Representative? I get why he’d bring Maomao because of poison tasting and possible drugging, but other than that, I’m a little confused.

Still, I get that it must be important if Gaoshun and Basen have to tag alongside Maomao; heck, Lihaku is there too! There’s also the dilemma that Jinshi has to tell Maomao about his real identity sooner or later. So, what I’ve been seeing is that Jinshi isn’t aware that he is the Emperor’s son, but he’s still considered his younger brother due to the baby swap. So, like does Shishou know that Jinshi is the second Prince and is that why he was invited to his place? The fact that he was given a soft-shelled turtle, a dish that’s known for increasing stamina indicates that there has to be some sort of scheme alongside the attempted assassination.

Still, it’s pretty crazy that Jinshi is able to jump down a 50 ft waterfall with Maomao in tow and still survive. Still, it’s interesting to note that Maomao can’t swim, which feels like a logical trait because she hasn’t lived outside of her hometown where there isn’t much water for her to swim in. I don’t know if CPR counts as a kiss, but…uh…congrats to Jinmao’s first kiss? Also, I feel like Jinshi looks a lot hotter with some of his bangs on his face and not be in his signature middle part.

I can tell that this episode is going to be a turning point for Maomao and Jinshi’s relationship with how social media likes to mention the frog constantly. Seriously, every time I dive into TAD discussion, someone always mentions a frog. Yes, I know what it symbolizes and it’s deeper meaning, and I’ve been told about it early on when I was reviewing the first season. Still, I won’t deny that it’s basically the story’s worst-kept secret in the fanbase.

Also, I’ve seen people on social media hating Gyokuyou and it baffles me because how can you hate her? She’s really sweet and smart. The fact that she’s the biggest JinMao shipper should be the golden ticket for her to not get hate, yet they hate her. She was super cute in the beginning of this episode where she was trying to nudge Jinshi to calling Maomao by her name, which he never did. I can see why this would be a turning point in their relationship if Jinshi decides to call her by her name. It’s basically a sign of intimacy. Let’s hope that Jinshi will call her by her name soon!

With the fact that the group is meeting with Loulan’s father does fuel a future story arc about her as she’s the most mysterious. Yes, she has a father, but who is Loulan? Why does she disguise herself and become Shisui…if she is her? Given that she was taken in as a concubine means that either her father only sees her as a tool for political power or there is a deeper, nefarious reason behind it… I feel like I’m way more invested in Loulan’s background than I am with the imperial family…

Anyways, if anyone is well-versed in this story, please help a person out with their questions. I don’t mind spoilers at all. Let me know your thoughts about this episode as well!

[otp-after-dark]

https://www.tumblr.com/otp-after-dark/784478305605828608/i-think-the-wildest-thing-about-the-last-two?source=share

you're not wrong, but whyyyyyyyy do you guys keep acting like june & nick are the only relationship on the show? there are so many other important, emotional, moving relationships involving love of various kinds that are just as important, and it's so insulting to act like they don't matter at all because your ship wasn't endgame. you're both overstating how many people watched for nick & june and understating how many people watched because they cared about those other characters and storylines too.

You’re totally right that The Handmaid’s Tale is full of layered, emotional relationships — friendships, found family, maternal bonds, survival alliances — and I would never say those don’t matter. They do. They’re vital.

But when we talk about Nick and June, we’re not just talking about a ship. We’re talking about the story’s central romantic arc, the one that’s been emotionally and structurally foregrounded since Season 1 — and, more importantly, the one that aligns most clearly with the book’s thesis on love, power, and survival.

In most of Atwood's statements of love in the book, she is talking about romantic, sexual, embodied love — the kind of love that feels dangerous and alive. That’s Nick. Not about maternal love. Not about platonic loyalty or sisterhood.

And in the final lines of The Handmaid’s Tale, when Offred is taken from her house and the “historical notes” speculate on her escape, it’s Nick who is remembered as the one who helped her. It’s his act of love and rebellion that ensures her survival. And in The Testaments, we see the fruit of that risk: a daughter raised in freedom. A family — however fractured — that survived.

That matters.

Because what I find most painful about the show’s ending isn’t just that Nick and June didn’t get a final moment. It’s that Nichole is robbed of the ending Atwood gave her.

She grows up loved, protected, and whole — the product of a love that survived violence and repression. To strip that away — to suggest June never reunited with the man who risked everything for her and their daughter — doesn’t just erase a romantic arc. It rewrites the story’s heart.

So no — it’s not about shipping for the sake of shipping. It’s about honoring the book’s themes of love as resistance, of survival as defiance, and of a woman allowed to love fully and be free.

That’s what June and Nick were. And that’s why, for some of us, it really was the point.

[amarriageoftrueminds]

People also miss that good characters like Supes and Cap are not just nice for the sake of being nice, their decency is there to facilitate the very heartfelt wish fulfilment fantasy of the underdog.

Eg. 'I wish the little guy could actually win against the big evil oppressors for once! I wish there was a guy who was super powerful but only used it for good! I wish that guy could be black!'

They're good for the same reason a character like Sam Gamgee is good; because being a toxic gruff edgelord would defeat his entire purpose in the narrative.

The reason MCU has done such a shit job with both their Caps is because, outside of CATWS, they're written by men who:

don't see the original wish-fulfilment they embody at all,

don't see it but accidentally tell the right story anyway since it's an adaptation,

do see it but think it's too 'political' to portray and so go out of their way to strip that sub- from the text, or

do see it but don't relate to it … and think that that is the same thing as it being Unrelatable full stop.

In the latter case they'll tend to replace it with with a shitty male wish-fulfilment power fantasy instead.

Eg. 'What if, instead of being Good, Cap was like Tony Stark only conveniently sexless with cool surveillance tech, flying around blowing shit up in vaguely Middle Eastern settings (for which the locals thank him) and doing relentless cruel verbal jabs at others, cuz locker room bullying is Fun LOL, all men do it!'

Or 'what if, instead of being a Good Antifa disabled guy, Cap was just a vaguely unwell incel, and instead of his friends his secondary focus was his lack of a girlfriend, (but we'll hone in on it like it should be his primary focus), the only measure of a man that counts?'

'That would be so much more relatable than Cap just being some democratic socialist do-gooder with beloved friends, championing the underdog ...right? Because everyone finds being unattractive to women a relatable, tragic experience!'

Or: 'Instead of an unwed competent female spy who has better things to worry about than getting herself a man since there's a war on... What if there was a Strong Female Character but- get this, instead of girly she was womanly, with perma-makeup and a Hollywood Starlet aesthetic -who was just knocking around bored, not doing anything particularly important, who thought she was better than all men but was completely ineffective compared to the hero and so got taken down a peg and became desperate to fuck him? (And she was like this Hot Nanny figure, like a busty Pepper Potts.) And she was such a Cool Girl but she was One of the Boys! But Feminine, in a sexually-attractive-to-men way!' 💅

Since all white women wish 'if only I could get away with sexual harassment at my nepotism-job, knowing I would never be fired as I told people I'm fucking someone super important- wait, actually, I'd be the Girlboss! Men would have to do what I say! (But I still wear makeup and high heels -- of course -- because that's Empowering.) And best of all: no one would ever be allowed to criticise me!' 🤩💋 What a relatable wish!

All great fodder for a raving white feminist villain who'll eventually get her comeuppance, or for a character at the beginning of a steep arc from bad to good -- the incel loser or the smiling bully.

But completely wrong if you think you're already portraying a 'relatable' paragon.

What draws you to a character? Is it moral conflict or cardboard good people ??

Oooh thanks for the interesting question but why do I get the vague sense this is bait 😅

Very few people with an ounce of writing experience or critical analysis skills likes “cardboard people” regardless of whether they’re good, bad, or anything in between. A cardboard person has not been written into a character. They’re just a collection of traits to serve a certain role in a story. Depending on the genre and their importance, that is not necessarily a writing flaw. When you have a 100 minute movie you cannot possibly develop every character. However, if your main character is a cardboard person that means the writer hasn't done their job and by gods other writers pick up on that. Nat, for example, was not a character in IM2, she was a cardboard femme fatale, because she had no inner world and no inner conflict to speak of.

On the converse, a well-written character will always have conflict , regardless of whether they’re good, bad, or anything in between! And a good conflict, one that has complexity - both ethical and emotional - will reveal layers about a character's value systems and psyche and make them a whole person, and that's what I like.

As I've always said, the first character I liked in the MCU was Tony, because here is a guy who was introduced to us self-centered and has it all, then you realise how little he has in term of human relationships (partly due to his own doing), and in the end he lets go of some of his material possessions and earns human connections. The second character I loved was Loki, because he's not a bad guy by nature, and he's perpetually torn between genuine love for his adoptive family, and anger at the lies they built around him and the identity they took away from him. The third character I loved was T'Challa, who through a fairly small role in Civil War was able to go through an entire conflict around grief, loss, compassion and forgiveness.

I came to like Steve and Bucky after I've gotten some context about 1930s America that the movies didn't give us. Steve's entire existence is a conflict with the world. He starts off the direct opposite of the eugenics ideal (I want to say 'save for the colour of his skin' but eugenicists scoffed at the Irish, so his colour didn't give him an advantage there) then through the serum became the Aryan ideal. He himself continually questions and disobeys the system that has tried to make him into an avatar for their agendas. He yearns of moving forward but the only way he seems to do that is after he finds the piece of his past that he had let slip through his fingers in the alps. And Bucky has a similar arc, how does he marry the identity that was forced upon him to who he once was and who he now wants to be? He is also trying to move forward, but can only do that by reconnecting with the past that was forcefully taken from him. Speaking without the shipping angle, Bucky is Steve's narrative mirror, and very similar conflicts drive their stories (which is why Endgame did the equivalent of narrative suicide by making Steve just...abandon all his conflicts and leaving Bucky to continue on with the same conflicts without his mirror) and there's something delicious in exploring that.

Conflict doesn't have to be just the character choosing between right and wrong, although that is a common conflict. You can have a pure good character forced to be in conflict with people around them and that can still be an interesting conflict (when well-written), and it doesn't mean that the character is "cardboard good".

If this ask is about Peggy -- I might enjoy her character if the story had the self-awareness to recognise the moral conflicts in her character. But it doesn't. It writes her as a series of contradictions and presents her as the perfect model of goodness. She fails at even being a cardboard character.

[bedheaded-league]

I just binged all of Fawx & Stallion in like 2 days and it has an absolute chokehold on my brain so now I need to talk about all of the things I fucking loved about it because I'm super super duper normal about this show. Major spoilers ahead.

Like everyone else, I've replayed the "very sincerely yours" scene like 5 times already and it just doesn't get any less devastating/beautiful/cathartic. This is THE best post-Reichenbach reunion scene I have EVER seen in a Holmes adaptation, HANDS DOWN. Obviously the Reichenbach story is one of the most popular bits of the Holmes canon to retell, because it's just so crazy and ripe for raw emotion. But frequently I feel like the reunion scenes are either infuriating and completely emotionally unsatisfying (I'm looking at you, BBC) or beautiful and tender but still leaving us with the feeling that we're not getting the whole story (like with canon and Granada). This was beautiful, tender, harsh, painful, devastating, honest, and SO FUCKING SATISFYING. Jesus christ, I feel like this is the emotional catharsis Holmes fans have been waiting for since 1893.

I don't think I've ever heard an actor put SO MUCH into a single word as that fucking "Yours." Is it possible to tell someone that they're the love of your life and nothing in the world matters more to you than being with them in just one single syllable? Apparently! Because Rob Kauzlaric fucking did it! What the fuck!

I've never really had an answer for who my favorite Watson was before (I love Burke and Hardwicke, but I just have this very specific idea of Watson in my head that no actor has ever matched) but now I know who it is and it's Tom fucking Crowley. Fucking flawless performance. This Watson struck the perfect balance between being the kindest person you'll ever meet and also being sort of a bitch! He's long-suffering, he's funny, he's a chaotic bisexual who's a bit of a slut but has also been pining after the same man for ten years, he's The Guy Of All Time. His characterization was perfect and Tom Crowley gave him a perfect voice.

And GOD this interpretation of Holmes is so good. He's silly and endlessly annoying. He's a burnt out former gifted kid who's tied his entire self-worth to this cool thing he can do and how much he can impress everybody and so if he ever stops for one second he'll lose everyone he cares about. What a perfect character arc for him. He's desperately in love with someone who he thinks will never love him back because he can't imagine a reason for anyone to love him that isn't about the service he can provide to others. Out of all the characters, he has some of the most heartwrenching line deliveries. "It's too late." "Because he wrote about it." "No, no, I'll GET IT." "Very sincerely yours." FUCK

Listening to Filched Fork over again is so heartbreaking. Watson not mentioning the fork because he thinks it's just much less interesting compared to all of the dazzling things that Holmes does and also because he wants to keep the sweetest parts of Holmes to himself because those are private, but Holmes thinking that it means that the moment wasn't important *to him.* Watson literally begging Holmes how to do it (the writing, their relationship) correctly, desperately trying to reach out to the man he loves so that they can understand each other, and Holmes immediately closing himself off instead. Meanwhile we can see the hints of his impending burnout already happening here, which of course ties into his panic about Watson moving on without him if he can't be amazing all the time.

The way I absolutely screamed when I heard the thunk of the fork dropping on the table out of Fitzy's pocket. I mean I already figured out that it was Holmes (I feel like there were enough hints that we were meant to figure it out) but the reveal was SO GOOD.

Not only adapting the "This article is shit" "Oh really? I wrote it." scene but having HOLMES' LOVE CONFESSION DIRECTLY REFERENCE BACK TO IT??? THE MOMENT THEY FIRST BECAME FRIENDS???? TEN YEARS LATER??? AFTER SPENDING TEN YEARS KEEPING UP THE SAME INSIDE JOKE THAT ORIGINATED FROM THAT ONE CONVERSATION??? BECAUSE THAT DUMB JOKE WAS THE FIRST TIME HOLMES MADE WATSON LAUGH??? AND WATSON HADN'T LAUGHED IN MONTHS BECAUSE HE WAS TOO DEPRESSED FROM THE WAR??? I'M EATING THE WALLS

Holmes' nervous ADHD rambling my beloved

Holmes: "Hi, I'm Sherlock Holmes." James: "Nope."

James' monologue during the improv scene was so tender and heartbreaking and beautiful. It works so perfectly for James and Archie but also so perfectly for Holmes and Watson? God the fucking CHARACTER FOILS, FUCK.

Just in general the concept of the 224 gang being a foil to the 221 boys both in that Fawx/Stallion are bad at crime solving and Holmes/Watson are good at it AND that Holmes and Watson are in a fucked up situationship for a decade because they can't communicate but meanwhile James and Archie are in a healthy relationship because they actually talk about their feelings.

"Do you know how frustrating it is to love someone who doesn’t love themselves the way you love them? It’s like being told you're an idiot for breathing air." FUCK

James and Archie confronting the same problem that Holmes and Watson did, and in the end they didn't actually figure out the solution, but they love each other and they're in it together and that's all that matters.

Watson reading the book quotes while Holmes realizes that Watson's in love with him I'M SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS

"Well, the person saying that might have been biased." "Oh, is that what we're calling it now?" Archie passive aggressive queen

"Because he wrote about it" AAUUGGGHHH

Archie's impassioned speech about the difference between cooking and baking is so valid

"I really want to get rescued right now!" "YES CHEEEEFFF!!!" can you hear that sound in the background that's me losing my fucking mind

Holmes: Your relationship is doomed and love isn't real. James: Actually I think you're just stupid.

Archie saw Holmes stand there frozen solid making the shocked pikachu face as he realizes that the man he's been in love with for 10 years has loved him back the whole time and then Archie immediately came up with an elaborate lie to manipulate this dramatic gay dumbass into actually going and talking to the man in question. What an icon.

Please tell me we're gonna get more Iphy in the next season because I'm in love with her and she's my wife now

[tryandbehappy]

The more I think about it and how S6 went, the more I think they were trying to make a political statement and failed miserably. It’s like they thought the audience was thinking Nick Blaine was some sort of guy from the Manosphere and he had to be punished for it (the Reddit haters did but they are clearly not the majority of the audience when you see the current backlash). But this show is not Adolescence.

You cannot change the character arc in the last season with some interviews justifying everything bad he did off screen, and that the only good thing he did was for June. But that once June was gone, he was just a monster who didn’t even care about women before her (do they forget about Beth in 1x08 or the way the Martha network trust him in S4..)? You can’t place a fake flashback where it doesn’t make sense (it should have been a BG one and not his appartement) to show that before he was a nobody. You cannot feed this narrative while at the same time still having him play this way by Max as so lost and full of empathy. Nothing adds up.

In that case, don’t make him marry a disable wife. Make him enjoy Jezebels, make him like Bell… and even then we wouldn’t have accepted it because totally OOC.

Feminism is not forgive your r*pist because she is a woman with child and k*ll the only man who had your back and tried to destroy the regime from within (I mean the guy was part of the NB reform, just like Lawrence!!!).

This totally ruined everything and I don’t blame the actor for not taking part in any promotion of this.

Exactly! The comparison to Adolescence and the implication that Nick was some kind of incel? I can’t even begin to wrap my head around how fucking off-base that is. Incels don’t just live a “double life” — it’s an entire worldview built on hating women, needing control, and being so deep in toxic masculinity it oozes from their pores. If Nick were that, there’s no way in hell he could have held emotional space for June the way he did — loving her, respecting her boundaries, accepting her no matter what. That’s a completely different value system.

So everything they’re trying to push? Total bs.

And Adolescence actually did a good job explaining why that kid acted the way he did, why he was angry at girls, how his environment shaped that. None of that applies to Nick. We’ve never seen him display that kind of behavior. Ever. So no, I’m not buying it.

As for that flashback where he said he was “no one” before he met June, and she’d never have looked at him, that’s not a red flag to me at all. It actually fits perfectly with his story.

First of all, he was a teenager. Second, they came from totally different worlds. There’s just no version of reality where their paths would’ve crossed. But that doesn’t mean he became “someone” in Gilead. That’s the whole point. He never saw himself as someone important. There’s even that scene with Luke — Luke asks, “Who are you?” and Nick just says, “just a driver.” He didn’t see himself as a powerful eye or commander, he never chased power. It burdened him. He didn’t want to go to war. He cried. He didn’t want to be a part of it. He was always shown as someone trapped by the regime.

Nick’s tragedy is that he doesn’t know how to exist outside of Gilead. He has no one, nothing. Unlike June, who had a full life before, a husband, a child, a career, friends. She had something to return to. Nick didn’t. So of course it would be harder for him to run. Of course he’d hesitate.

So yeah, that line in the flashback — “I was nothing” — makes total sense. That’s how he saw himself. And honestly, he still doesn’t think he’s anything special. He doesn’t brag about being a commander. He doesn’t throw his weight around. Even the other commanders called him “the boy scout.” No one took him seriously.

So if the writers are trying to retroactively claim he had some dark double life? They’re going to fail. It’s just not there.

And honestly? I lost the thread. I don’t even know what the fuck they were trying to say. All their interviews contradict each other. At one point I thought maybe they were setting him up as a villain — like, some big twist reveal because of that “winning side” line. And maybe that was the plan?

But if that’s the case where’s the setup? Where are the actual villain moments? Why leave him loyal, empathetic, consistent with his character? Why not show us something? I have so many fucking questions.

And I will watch the finale. I need to understand what the hell they were trying to say. I’m already mentally exhausted. None of this makes any fucking sense. Not narratively, not emotionally, not symbolically. It’s a mess.

And honestly, I don’t think Max is on board with this. As an actor, director, and producer — I think he’s just as stunned by how badly they broke the narrative. What could he possibly say in interviews? He can’t defend this. There’s no explanation that would make it okay. So he’s staying silent. And I get it. Because it is deeply unfair to his character. And I think he knows it.

[mintedwitcher]

Im the new person from earlier and while I would love a calm fandom I've been around for a while and know that that's a pipe dream, (loved the reylo death threats phase hopefully this ship war never progresses that far) and honestly it can be fun reading the discourse. Luckily I also know how to filter tags and block people. But yeah. I have dreams for what I'd want to happen in s9 but I will not be getting my hopes up. Really just want a nice fulfilled story line for the characters but I would not put my money on it actually happening. As long as they dont pull another Kim level character assassination, I truly cannot see a real way that situation is ever fully resolved even if we have multiple family therapy episodes with chris and eddie, I'll probably be happy enough and if not there'll still be fanfiction.

My most secret of secrets i love the concept of Eddie's character but in the show I cannot stand him at times even if I stan a messy queen. I will never understand the thought process of the whole Kim of it all. Him and Marisol were on the fast track to breaking up anyways if he couldn't figure out his whole issue of her having been training to be a nun and if chris' actor was needing a break he would have just visited his grandparents they didn't need to come and take him??!! Chris, abuela, and pepa are the only diaz I need on the show, the rest take it or leave it.

I have to say, from a writer's perspective, I enjoyed the Kim drama. It was a new relationship issue that we haven't seen Eddie deal with before, and the consequences were actually really interesting. The problem, in my opinion, is the lack of commitment to those consequences.

Chris left, Eddie did nothing. Chris stayed away, Eddie did nothing. Then suddenly he decides he needs to be there - not because he actually feels remorseful for what he did or that he understands where he fucked up, but because his parents were essentially "taking over" Chris's milestones. He felt left out, so he forced himself into that space, without actually taking any accountability for what he did to create that situation in the first place. He never talks to Chris about what happened, Chris is not shown to hold any lingering emotion about the situation once Eddie arrives, and things get miraculously "fixed" by Eddie declaring that Chris has to live with him again, "whether you like it or not".

That, to me, is where the narrative falls apart. Because this whole situation could have been a really good, important progression for Eddie's character. He could have taken accountability, realised that he has trouble with commitment and relationships and intimacy, he could have gone to therapy to discuss his still-present grief over Shannon. He could have gone to Texas much sooner and talked to his son about what actually happened, instead of trying to brush it aside and lovebomb Chris the way he did. This could have been a really pivotal time for Eddie as a character, but it was wasted, because the show couldn't commit to the consequences they'd already put in place.

As for the Diaz parents, the fact of the matter is that Chris does not have a close relationship with them, and hasn't for years. That's deliberate, to show us - and Eddie - just how badly Eddie has fucked up, that Chris would rather be in Texas with his grandparents that he's not all that close with, instead of staying in LA with his father.

I don't think the Kim arc is "character assassination" (because really, it isn't). I think it had a good start, but they fumbled the aftermath, and that weakens the entire arc. I also don't believe at all that this entire arc was conceptualised just as a way to give Gavin time off by writing Chris out for a while. That is far too much effort when they could just have Eddie say that Chris is staying with Pepa, for example, or having the scenes written around Chris's absence, like they did in season 5 (iirc) when Eddie and Chris went to El Paso for Ramon's retirement party.

[fictiongods]

Top 5 Faith episodes (in either Buffy or Angel)?

Okay I struggled with this initially because I feel like all of her episodes are all so important to her character, she’s never really on screen unless she is there telling a story. But top five going from least to best would be:

5. Revelations

I feel like this is our real first hint to who Faith actually is, not the Cool Party Girl she tries to be. I know that there are plenty of hints that are present within the first few episodes she is in (her whole first episode is filled with it) but I do feel like it is missed to the casual viewer, especially as there are still people who think she’s just a flat monster no real reason (or reason they care to find) to it. But this episode to me is like the first one that really dives into all of that with Mrs. Post and her trust issues and her authority issues, all that good stuff.

4. Enemies

I mean, what can I say? I’m a sucker for gay forehead kissage. But no for real, I do actually really like this episode as one for Faith alone, I feel like sometimes it gets diminished into just for fuffy (or at least from some spaces I’ve seen) but it shares a lot about Faith. I can’t remember if she’s said it earlier than this forgive me if I’m wrong — but I think this is the first real piece we get about Faith’s mom besides the one line in FH&T that I don’t really think the writers put much thought into. While I think Faith did bury a lot of her motives, she also told a lot and showed just how lonely and jealous and insecure she really was, and a really great post from herinsectreflection put the loser line into perspective as well which was intriguing and fun to dig into (Plus just generally I was actually shook by that plot twist and didn’t see it coming at all. Like I thought they’d get his soul back but I didn’t know that he never lost it in the first place and that Buffy was in on it, so that was pretty cool, I just liked the episode).

3. Orpheus

This is what I mean when I say that all of Faith’s episodes are in conversation with each other because her three episode arc in Angel were all so connected that anything thematically relevant I wanted to talk about just came down to picking one. You can find crumbs of everything I would have wanted to say across all three. I loved how this was a direct call back to enemies (as someone who already obviously enjoyed the episode), Faith fighting so hard to get Angel’s soul back as the exact inverse of what she did there. Also, I love that they finished her prison arc. She was only hiding! She felt so (rightfully) guilty of what she had done and instead of living in the world and making redemption, she hid. And they literally paralleled that directly to Angel himself with him in the alley for 20 years with rats, so like add that to the Angel Is Faith continuum. Plus s6 really put me right in the feels with this, so then it also paralleled Faith to s6 Buffy (as season s6 was being Faith) and it was just like a whole parallel fest. Plus Angel and Faith Faith and Angel my two gremlins who go evil from lack of/having sex <333 ( just an amazing arc of beating Faith down and getting her all bloody, shower scene, breaking the windows cause None Will Survive around her and a magical mind mushroom trip. Amazing. (special shout out to that woman who asked Faith to make out and Faith immediately pushes her against the wall and threatens her. Fantastic I think about you everyday.))

2. Five by Five

Can you even call yourself a Faith fan if this isn’t in your top five? It gives you everything. It really gets into the heart of Angel too, asking the questions of what does redemption mean, is it different for different people, can you atone for what you did after all this darkness etc etc. It also allows Faith to be a bit darker than she was in Buffy* and lets her spiral in a way that is really impactful. This episode again is one I wanted to include sanctuary in, because what comes after all the violence and chaos is equally important to this episode, but ultimately I just find this one more interesting scene wise than anything. The rain scene was one of the most devastating things I have ever seenand easily wormed its way into one of my favorite scenes in basically anything I’ve ever watched. The way it’s just two of the most fucked up people you’ve ever seen in your whole life just holding each other, because what else is left? What else is left after all this death and destruction and chaos other than love that somehow made it through? It falls into the category of Xander and Willow in Grave (6x22), and to a bit of lesser extent Buffy and Giles in Passion (2x17), and probably others I cant remember off the top of my head. I think it was just extremely well written and makes you feel every single emotion you have.

1. Who are you?

This one just hits you over the head with a red brick on fire and goes “Look at her!!! LOOK AT HER!!! LOOK AT DAMAGED GIRL!!!!” So like. Easily one of the best Faith episodes that Eliza Dushku wasn’t even really there for. I don’t think I need to say how amazing SMG did as Faith, she got every last mannerism down. This episode gives you everything you could ever want as both a Faith Stan and a Fuffy Shipper, and I would say her start to redemption begins here, not on Angel. She’s no where done, but this is something. She is literally becoming the light as a shadow, transforming into something more than she is. It’s the first step to being the Good Slayer and a person who is capable (and capable of believing) she can do some good in a life that only ever beat her down. It is also arguably, one of the must fucked up things you see in this show. It connects to the darkest parts of Faith and shows every aspect of Faith out in the open (being that we see it; characters may not) such as her own issues with sexual abuse, her sexual abuse of both Riley and Buffy, her intrusive thoughts, her death wish, her running, her views on her and Buffy’s relationship as BUFFY LITERALLY IS COMPARED TO A GOD FOR HER. Crazy shit. And there’s so much imagery and little parallels or nods to other things that every time I rewatch I get something new to see. Just generally is a fantastic episode, who doesn’t enjoy a body swap? (Soulmatism of Fuffy soulmatism of Fuffy soulmatism of Fuffy soulmatism of—)

*I say a bit cause I definitely think Who Are You? is darker than that episode, but Angel I feel just has darker themes in principle than Buffy does.

[bravoechoes]

I definitely think he could! And actually I think what I’m trying to articulate is something different, bc like ur right Benji is still around and if he was the one who pulled Ethan out of the ice I’d think that would be totally narratively legitimate (he is Ethan’s closest remaining friend now after all).

So I think my point is rather that Ethan is at a stage in his life where so many people he cares about have died that he has to put his life in the hands of a woman he barely knows, and this woman (who also does not know him) has to be forced to not only save his life but take care of him and comfort him. We don’t really see him be that vulnerable with anyone else outside of Julia in MI3, who he asks to kill him and bring him back to life. And he has a very different dynamic with Ilsa - they collide together and save one another’s lives, Ethan doesn’t actually give the responsibility of his life to Ilsa. Their relationship with death vis a vis one another is saving themselves from each other: they pull their punches and make sure their aim is always a few metres off and let the other one slip away. 

And so going back to Julia, I think Final Reckoning consistently parallels Grace with Julia (which I simultaneously do not like but also find thematically interesting) - not only is Grace an outsider who has been violently pulled into this dangerous spy world by Ethan, in FR they mention Julia by name when Grace and Ethan are locked up together and we learn that the Rabbit’s Foot contained the seed of The Entity, placing Ethan directly at fault for the current crisis. We hear Ethan respond by saying that he had to steal the Rabbit’s Foot because “they were going to kill my wife.” He then brutally murders the remaining men in the room who threaten Grace’s life directly after Julia is mentioned, which is pretty out of character for Ethan - he is not an executioner, and even Grace is taken aback by how violent the deaths are (which is played for comedy in the film but it is still meant to be horrifying lol). Ethan justifies this by saying “they were going to kill you.”

The other big moment is when Grace saves Ethan's life - she’s giving him CPR, she’s wearing a very similar outfit as Julia, we see her begging him to come back (while sad music plays overtop of the scene, even), and she comforts & holds him when he wakes up. And I would argue that they cinematically frame the decompression chamber as a marriage bed - it’s all white, pristine, Ethan and Grace are lying close face to face. 

I remember being surprised that they go out of their way to mention Julia in FR (whose arc was wrapped up in Fallout) instead of Ilsa (a recent death given very little attention in the previous film), but I think it’s because of the awkward narrative position Grace is in. She’s meant to replace Ilsa as the leading woman, but paralleling her with Ilsa is pretty unfair to Grace because Ilsa is like. Ilsa lol. The most beloved and well-developed MI character aside from Ethan. AND of course because of heterosexuality you need a bit of romantic stuff in your action movie, so you’re in a bind. Julia is therefore a solution to this problem because you get to avoid unfavourable Ilsa comparisons while also importing Ethan’s emotional stakes re: Julia to Grace, thereby shortcutting her character development & dynamic with Ethan (both of which were like. nonexistent in FR to be clear lmfao). 

And obviously this is like objectively sexist and on a real life level I dislike it because you should just let Grace be her own character. BUT. Thematically I think it does tie into the issue of Ethan being this shell of a human being who has lost basically everyone he’s ever cared about, to the point that he’s forced to put his life in the hands of strangers because almost everyone he trusts is dead. And Grace saving him is an especially stark example of this imo because while she is narratively positioned as Julia, emotionally she is basically a stranger to Ethan. This person he’s being vulnerable with is only someone who reminds him of another person he once loved. Ethan’s racked up so many losses that he just sees phantoms in the strangers who are forced to care for him. I think him caressing her cheek is meant to communicate that on some level (subtextually anyway. I’m sure you can interpret their physical intimacy in other ways, including simply "Ethan needs to touch a woman in the film") - it is romantic but it is romantic by proxy, by the ghost of a third person in the bed between them.

And I think this does give Grace some flavour because her biggest character motif in the series is a young woman who is way in over her head - she’s an audience surrogate in a way, being the reasonable voice in the room by reacting to the insanity of the missions Ethan takes on and just barely surviving them through plucky determination and a good dose of luck. They re-emphasise this with her being very hastily taught how to dogsled (and kill polar bears) by Dunloe’s wife Tapeesa, as well as Grace being (reasonably) freaked out that she’s the one who has to chainsaw Ethan out of the ice and revive him. And this decompression chamber scene dramatises this in-over-her-head trait in a much more interpersonal way, because now the thing that she’s horrifyingly unequipped to do is to gently care for this stranger who is completely incapacitated and at her mercy. And said stranger is the guy who ruined her life. She must already have a pretty complex emotional relationship to Ethan despite how little time they’ve had together. Which makes sense because Ethan is the type of guy who everyone has this singularly unique & insane emotional relationship to regardless of how much or how little time they've actually known each other.

Now like. Is this fleshed out or realised in the scene or the films generally. I do not think so. I know I’m doing headcanon projection here. But I think these are all little puzzle pieces in the films that you can assemble and make sense of, and that is my take on their relationship 

very mentally ill inducing to me personally that the only person left alive that can still offer Ethan any comfort is this woman he barely knows and who barely knows him. Like he and Grace are still essentially strangers to one another and the thing holding them together is this mutual guilt and obligation - she feels indebted to Ethan for Ilsa’s death and he feels indebted to Grace for ruining her life

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4)

[moomeecore]

controversial opinion betty has way more autistic traits / coding than simon but ppl immediately jump on assuming characters who are neurodivergent coded/ have those vibes must have adhd if theyre energetic and autism if they're calm

[otp-after-dark]

Final THT thoughts: What Could Have Been.

As a long-time fan of the book — and the book version of the Nick/Offred relationship — I’m honestly sickened by the ultimate message this show chose to send. Atwood’s novel isn’t just a dystopian masterpiece —

it’s an empowering, ahead-of-its-time feminist work that dared to show how women can be brave, sexual, flawed, and still worthy of love and freedom.

It’s about reclaiming power in the most personal and political ways. And Nick and Offred, as written in the book, are central to that. Their relationship is not just romantic — it’s radical. It’s about desire in a system built on oppression. About choosing for yourself, when everything else is chosen for you. Offred’s relationship with Nick was not an escape — it was a reclamation. A choice. A refusal to be broken.

“I did not do it for him, but for myself entirely.”

And this was never just about desire — it was about safety, intimacy, and resistance in the harshest conditions. It was about what it means to find a corner of love in a world built to erase it:

“We make love each time as if we know beyond the shadow of a doubt that there will never be any more, for either of us, with anyone, ever. And then when there is, that too is always a surprise, extra, a gift. Being here with him is safety; it’s a cave, where we huddle together while the storm goes on outside.”

As a woman who has embraced desire, fire, and freedom in her own life, I really despise the message this show ultimately landed on. Instead of honoring the complex, layered love story between Offred and Nick — one born of resistance, defiance, and mutual recognition — the show punished June for her desire, her rage, her grief. It pushed her into a narrative of guilt and “healing” that felt hollow, and worst of all, erased the feminist power of her relationship with Nick.

And let’s be honest — the show completely lost its footing when it ran out of source material. Season 1 was gold. And there are moments in Seasons 2–4 that still shine. But the further it drifted from Atwood’s vision, the more it lost the nuance, the fury, the purpose. Instead of sharpening its message in the wake of our current political climate, it softened. It sanitized. It forgot what made the story dangerous and important.

And in that unraveling, they did Nick so dirty. He was one of the most compelling, quietly radical characters the show had — a man who chose love and rebellion from within the system, who risked everything to protect June, not because she needed saving but because he loved her as she was. His emotional repression, his deep moral conflict, the way he operated in the shadows — it all built up to a portrait of someone torn apart by love and war. It's shameful we never got to see his shift into his real Testament-style characterization — not just the man who loved June, but the man who helped take the system down from within.

“More likely it was ‘Nick,’ who, by the evidence of the very existence of the tapes, must have helped ‘Offred’ to escape... A number of Mayday operatives are known to have infiltrated the Gileadean power structure at the highest levels... Nick must have been at the same time a member of the Eyes, as such chauffeurs and personal servants often were.”

That’s who he was — a double agent with everything to lose and a deep, dangerous, unwavering love at the center of it. The show gave him crumbs. The book gave him purpose.

Through it all, Max Minghella gave one of the most nuanced, understated performances on television. He brought depth, longing, and an aching restraint that said more in a glance than most characters said in a monologue. For the show to sideline him, to reduce him to a narrative obstacle, to not even give his arc closure — it was not just a disservice to the character, but to everything Nick symbolized. He was part of the heart of the story, and they let it go silent.

What makes that even worse is how the show treated Serena. A woman who was not just complicit in Gilead’s violence — she was architectural to it. She helped build the system that enslaved and raped women. She abused June physically and psychologically. And yet, the show bent over backward to give her a redemption arc. It tried to frame her as a mother, a victim, even a potential ally — and in doing so, tried to sell us a version of female “sisterhood” that’s frankly insulting. You don’t get to brutalize women and then claim solidarity. The fact that Serena ends in a place of relative peace while Nick is treated as a monster? That’s not justice. That’s a betrayal.

The power of what this story could have been lives on in the moments they couldn’t erase. The quiet tenderness. The resistance that looked like a hand on a belly. The truth of a kiss shared on a bridge in a burning world. The bridge kiss will live on in infamy.

I will always love Season 1. It understood what this story was. Some of 2–4 had glimmers of that brilliance. But ultimately, The Handmaid’s Tale betrayed its own thesis. It punished the very kind of woman the book celebrated — angry, passionate, morally complicated — and tried to redeem the kind it condemned. And that’s a shame.